A Shiny (and Messy) Jesus

Homeless Jesus by Kelly Latimore Icons

I have been thinking a lot about Jesus, especially since the pandemic. And thinking is one of the things idealistic Enneagram 4s do best.

I’ve been a follower of Jesus since I was fourteen.* But it was The Shiny Jesus I followed; the one I learned about in Sunday School and from church pulpits. The Jesus that always made sense and made me feel comfortable. A Bible passage would be read aloud and then an adult (usually a white male) would explain what happened to the people within ear shot of Jesus’ words and why. I taught kindergarten for fifteen years and it feels good to see your students looking relieved when something that was confusing gets explained. That was me.

The Shiny Jesus of my childhood

My brother, Lawrence, once gave me a framed copy of the Lord’s Prayer. It was in a fake leather folding frame. The prayer was on the right side, and a likeness of Jesus on the left. The one we all recognize: a handsome white Jesus bathed in light, with wavy, brunette hair falling across his shoulders, his blue eyes looking heavenward. I was probably twelve at the time and thought he was beautiful. But something unsettled me: How could I possibly be perfect enough for this Perfect Jesus? Wasn’t perfection what he demanded? Surely I was doomed to fail.

I walked with The Shiny Jesus for years, not questioning the things that didn’t make sense. Still, that Jesus showed up more times than I can count. In the ER when I almost died from a ruptured cyst, in the hospital room when I was miraculously healed and the doctors released me two weeks later scratching their heads. When I made it through a high risk pregnancy and delivered healthy twin daughters. When that angel swooped down while I was driving along in my ’68 VW Beetle. And that Christmas when I was broke and loving friends appeared at my door bearing gifts for my three girls.

These moments were the most memorable. But there were ordinary moments, too. They were just as miraculous and momentous. But not shiny. Moments when I wasn’t sure I could throw off the anxiety residing in my chest, find the money to pay a bill, or stretch a bag of Trader Joe’s dumplings one more night. He was there, too. In my messiness. That’s when I began to wonder if Jesus might be messy, too.

Then the world came knocking on my door. The world of Congolese refugees, kids aging out of foster care, and Rwandan genocide survivors. Women who had suffered abuse at the hands of powerful men and remained silent. Children in cages and Black men thrown down, stomped on, or shot while walking or jogging in own their neighborhoods. People evicted from their homes and taking up residence in tent cities during the middle of a pandemic. And a tyrannical narcissist dismantling every semblance of humanity as we watched in horror.

If Jesus was in the middle of our collective messiness, and I was sure he was—he told us so—then surely he was messy, too. Isaiah called him, “a man of sorrows acquainted with grief.” So I prayed, “Lord, show me who you truly are. Not The Shiny Jesus I’ve known for years. But The Messy Jesus, the real Jesus. The brown-skinned, dust-covered, hungry, homeless refugee who walks among us. The one who told us that what we do (or don’t do) “for the least of these,” we do (or don’t do) for him. (Matt. 25:40, 45)

God answered my prayer. Messy Jesus showed up. He gave me new ears and eyes—to hear his words and see his face. I realized that when people asked him hard questions, He didn’t give pat answers. He answered with parables. And more questions. He wanted us to think for ourselves, not to just accept everything we’re told.

I believe I’m just beginning to understand something of this Jesus I follow. He’s messy. And so am I. Thanks be to God.

*I took a detour in my twenties. You can read about it in my memoir.

17 thoughts on “A Shiny (and Messy) Jesus”

  1. Laura,
    Your words are on point. I really like the concept of Jesus being Messy. Perhaps the Shiny portrayal of Jesus shows us how things are perfect and good when focused on our current path or our end game. The Messy Jesus is certainly how we arrive all radiant in front of Shiny Jesus. I mean, Jesus had some pretty stellar messes!♥️

  2. Love this, Laura!

    And my experience is that I too began to know the messy, always -there no-matter-what Jesus in the broken and very un- shiney places in my life- took me a while to be able to understand he is not only with me in those places…Jesus is with me there!

    1. Thank you for sharing, Susan! I thought you might be a kindred spirit. 🙂 Don’t you love this new space of discovery and surprise? What a gift! I thank God that we connected through GSNY. Take care. L.

      1. Oh, Philip! You’re good! Thanks for stopping by. I’m behind on your latest post but look forward to reading it soon. Take care, my friend! x L.

  3. ln defense of the beautiful “shiny” Jesus….I was introduced to that exact Lord’s Prayer and it’s glow in the dark image and it sat on my night stand. Every night it prompted me to pray and stare at him. It developed a reminder that his spiritual presence was always with me, every minute of every hour, whether I was aware or not.

    Now, that I am older, (or should I say elderly), much of life has happened just as you. That security in who I was has stayed with me and whether I was floundering in struggles or not, it stuck with me. The “messy” Jesus came to reality for me while in Israel. There, I met a different Jesus. Not, really different, but one who physically walked among the people, and in the context of history and that culture, saw the depravity of man and was willing to sacrifice himself out of his depth of love for us. The one who saw the struggles of our humanity, and reached out with love for all mankind, then, now and in the future.

    1. Dearest girl, in addition to painting you should be writing. Your words touched me. Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. xo

  4. I read this yesterday and wanted to shout AMEN! I also kept seeing the quote we keep in the front office of Catholic Charities here in Winston Salem. (I had to wait to come into the office today and make sure I had it right) “What if Jesus comes back like that? Two months early and hooked on crack.” (Contemporary Song 1996). I also prefer the messier Jesus and spent various decades with the shiny one…so I completely relate!

    1. Oh, Jennifer! Thank you for sharing. I’m glad you can relate! Love that quote. And love it that he shows up in unexpected ways (and places). Take care.

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