An Unexpected Journey (or Two) of My Own

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“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”

There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.

~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

The long-awaited release of “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” has gotten me thinking about journeys, and my own, in particular. In my lifetime, I have only met one person whose journey has been, well, expected. As I stood there listening to him reel off the list of calamities he’d escaped (major illness, financial setback, divorce, rebellious children, the loss of a loved one) I thought to myself, “Just wait, buddy. Your time is coming.” And it is and probably has, by now.

Not that I wish ill of anyone. Far from it. If anything, I wish the whole lot of us were immune. But we’re not.

Photo: Paul Steele, www.baldhiker.com
Ben Nevis    Photo: Paul Steele: www.baldhiker.com

I was just 14 when my parents received the news that my 23 year-old brother, Lawrence, had fallen to his death while climbing Ben Nevis in Scotland. Lawrence was getting his Masters at the University of Edinburgh. He’d been accepted into Yale Divinity School. And he had recently proposed to the girl he loved. Now all those hopes and dreams lay shattered—along with my innocence—at the bottom of that mountain.

As I crawled into bed that night, I had an epiphany: Life is short, so go for it. Take risks. Dream big.

I’d always understood that life was a journey. Now I felt an urgency to begin my own.

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Significant Journey #1: I’d just finished my freshman year of college when I declared my independence, moved away from my parents, and moved to the beach. It was a magical summer. I forged new friendships, broke a few hearts, and had mine broken, too. When the time came to return to school, I made the decision to stay (Remember? Take risks). Then, one by one, my friends packed up and left. And the magic left, too. I’d come to this place to find myself. What I found was this: When you take risks, you risk pain. Ouch.

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Significant Journey #2: A year and a half later, I was living in a sparsely furnished apartment in New York’s Upper East Side. I’d left college once again and headed to the Big Apple to find fame and fortune (Take risks). I wanted to be a cover girl, and nothing less would do (Dream big). Bright-eyed and innocent, I pounded the pavement while The City pounded me. I signed with a top agency and was told “if I played my cards right” I could land a million dollar contract (Life is short, so go for it). But trying to navigate that treacherous climb to the top at the tender age of 20 was just too much (Dream big, risk failing big). So one afternoon I walked to Penn Station and slipped away quietly on a train heading south.

There have been many journeys since then, too numerous to mention. What were some of the most unexpected? Having twins. Becoming a teacher. Returning to modeling at age 44. Being diagnosed with breast cancer. Getting divorced. (I did finally finish college, by the way). I suppose the most exciting and unexpected, by far, has been my journey of faith.

Just before Bilbo and the dwarves head into Mirkwood, Gandalf leaves them with this, There are no safe paths in this part of the world. Remember you are over the Edge of the Wild now, and in for all sorts of fun wherever you go.

Despite the difficulties, I have learned to press on and expect the unexpected. Because I know what Bilbo and the dwarves soon discover: there is always an adventure waiting just around the bend.

12 thoughts on “An Unexpected Journey (or Two) of My Own”

  1. Laura,
    I’ve so missed your posts. This one was very touching, as I struggle with my journey as I see it to be, and that big old thing called responsibility.
    Thank you for sharing this.
    …And I am so excited for the movie 🙂

  2. Thanks for sharing Laura. Have had this hanging in my room since I was in Junior High… “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp.” ~Robert Browning

  3. So glad you posted! Love your writing and will be a loyal follower.
    Interesting you should write about risks. Just decided to sell everything and launch to a new world. Don’t know where yet.

    Keep writing.

  4. I really enjoyed this, Laura. Thanks for putting yourself out there. Despite having a lot of great experiences and adventures in my life, I think I’ve always been too much of a dreamer and not enough of a doer. Trying to change that now so it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Your post made me think of this quote:

    “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.”
    – Henry David Thoreau

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